Getting Family Portraits Right: Tips for Wedding Photographers
I can’t stop thinking about a story I read in a random advice column this week. The Mother of the Bride wrote about her daughter's recent wedding claiming NO professional photos were ever taken of her and her daughter together. There's mention that the photography team showed up an hour late on the wedding day, and apparently the mom did prompt her daughter about photos several times; but ultimately in the chaos and flow of the day, family portraits never happened, and this mom is left "devastated".
Weddings are family affairs! It’s a fact I’ve only grown to love and appreciate MORE the longer I’m in business. As a mom myself, reading this story broke my heart, and as a professional wedding photographer since 2016, it makes me a little sick to my stomach.
How does a mistake like this happen? The quick answer is that for a professional, experienced wedding photographer, it just doesn't.
If you're new to the world of photographing weddings, there are several steps you can take to ensure your clients get exactly what they want when it comes to portraits of their friends and family. Read on for a list of ways I ensure “no regrets” from my couples AND their loved ones when it comes to their all-important family portraits:
1) Get a Portrait List in Writing
Get a list of the family portrait groupings your clients desire in writing. You can do this verbally on the phone, or with a simple online questionnaire. Make your list according to relationships primarily - “bride with parents”, “groom with cousins” etc. You'll pose the bride differently with "Bob" knowing he's her father instead of her brother in law. Send your final list with your clients via email a few weeks before the wedding and encourage them to share it with their parents or any other key family members who may be strongly invested in this portion of the day.
2) Set some Limits
If your couple presents you with a LONG list of family photo groupings, gently suggest a cap or “max” number (mine hovers close to 25.) In my experience, going beyond 25 formal portrait groupings tends to test a family’s patience and stamina. The bride and groom are the MOST likely to suffer and waste precious minutes of their day waiting for various family members to be hunted down in the bathroom or the line at the bar.
3) Prioritize your List
Prioritize photos with family members who may be elderly, in poor health, or have young children in tow. These guests likely won’t have the stamina for a long posed photo session, or may need to depart the wedding early / unexpectedly. Inquire about any special needs or health concerns among your clients’ immediate families in advance, and plan to take these photos first!
4) Communicate in Advance
As the photographer, you’ll be at a disadvantage during this part of the day - you'll be faced with a large group of people, and unfamiliar with their names and connections. Stress to your clients that the lion's share of success in family portraits rests on advance communication with their loved ones! I urge my clients to communicate the "when and where" of family photos to everyone involved well in advance, AND remind their loved ones during a wedding rehearsal if possible. Crowd control and technical decision making is the realm of the photographer, but we can only be successful if the right people show up!
5) Talk through any mishaps
If we do miss a portrait on my written list - I address it with the bride and groom BEFORE the day is over.
"Hey, I know you wanted to get a photo with Fr. Stuart - but he snuck away after the ceremony, I'm so sorry."
"Hey, I tried to grab your brother for a sibling photo, but I think he had a situation with one of the kids and had to leave during speeches, I'm so sorry."
10/10 times when I do this, clients are understanding, and recognize the effort I’m making on their behalf.
6) Do a final Check-In
20 - 30 mins before I'm due to depart the reception, I'll approach the couple and ask if there are ANY other people or groups they'd like a photo with. Co-workers? College buddies? Bowling team? This is a final touch for both of us to make sure we've covered the bases where their VIPs are concerned, and a chance for me to get a verbal confirmation that they're totally satisfied with what we've covered throughout the day.
Obviously a wedding is a human event, and mistakes (even big mistakes) are possible on a wedding day. Weddings are high-stakes, emotional celebrations with a lot of moving parts. Photographing a wedding requires preparation, excellent communication skills, and the flexibility to pivot as things inevitably DON’T go according to your plans. But there are also lots and lots of ways to ensure that your clients and their loved ones leave their wedding with a ton of happy memories AND beautiful photographs that help them remember all the details and people that made their day unique. Are you a photographer (or bride) who found this list helpful? Let me know in the comments!
EMMA DALLMAN
Emma is a wedding and portrait photographer serving the East Coast and the world beyond. She lives with her family in the Philadelphia suburbs and the things that make her happiest include slow weekend mornings, live music, Mexican food and Netflix comedy specials. She is endlessly fascinated by the uniqueness and the beauty of every person she photographs. Read more about Emma here!